Pyrrhic Victory
by Timmesque
Summary: You thought you won, but really you lost.... One embittered man, one vengeful orphaned son and one misguided teen try to make amends for the future. The problem is, it takes more than forgiveness.... [PAST TyKa] [Makoto x Gou] [OH LOOK CHAPTER SIX]
1. Deep as you go

**Pyrrhic Victory**

**By Timberwolf220**

**-XX-**

**Chapter One: Deep as you Go**

It was the ideal summer afternoon. The sky was clearer than a whiteboard slate and there were birds perched on the trees, chirping merrily at the people. Then the wind would move slowly through the branches, making the leaves shudder and whisper in tongues unknown. And that same breeze would flit past the man with the large cloth-bound book in his hands and ruffle its pages.

Kinomiya Makoto was twenty-three years old. He followed in his father's footsteps for a short while, but decided to leave Beyblading to the younger generation. He bore Kinomiya Tyson's resemblance that even those who knew him well would see him as his father. It was hard, especially hard for himself, but he has learned to cope.

As well as he can, at any rate.

Makoto clutched the book closer and walked down a small path. This path led to a small house built on the edge of the river. After many years of searching, Makoto had found it. He was scared, infinitely so. Makoto didn't know how they would react. Will they refuse him?

Makoto mustered up his courage and walked up to the door. It was a large ebony door with a large brass knocker. The emblem on this knocker was a phoenix and even though Makoto felt his insides wracked with uncertainty, he smiled at this reference. He knocked on the door three times, listening to the sound echo in the empty house.

It was a big house, large enough to hold a small army or platoon. But if Makoto remembered correctly (and here, he had a better memory than his father) then this house would always have too much space. Because this house was not meant to keep people in, but rather keep people out.

The Hiwataris were not only eccentric in name only.

The door creaked open slightly and then opened fully to reveal a handsome youth of a year older than Makoto himself. His eyes were a sharp burgundy, finer than any European wine and he had duel hair that marked him as one of the Hiwataris. His eyes widened and without realizing it, Makoto felt the sting of tears prick behind his eyes.

"Hello Gou," Makoto said, his voice choking, "It's—been a while," Surely an understatement, but Makoto found his vocabulary drying up when faced with this remnant of his past. Makoto stretched out his hand slowly and brushed against the painted marks on Gou's face. Gou's eyes fluttered slightly at the contact. Makoto immediately drew his hand back as if burned and then let it hang uselessly by his side.

"Makoto…" Gou looked down at the ground and then looked at him, "Well, come in!" Gou said in a voice much more cheerful than his own. Makoto stepped into the house and noticed how bare some of the walls seemed. Gou pulled him along and they went into the living room. It seemed as empty as the hallway. The living room had a large fireplace by the wall and a large picture of the Xeniq Cross, depicting the four sacred spirits.

Makoto walked up to the picture as if in rapture. Silently, he touched the legendary Blue Dragon and felt the urge to pull out his beyblade. He withdrew his fingers from the picture and smiled slightly at Gou, who had entered with two steaming cups of hot cocoa. Gou placed it on the table and gestured to the seat. Makoto sat down, placing the book beside him.

"…I thought that you had given up on me," Gou spoke tentatively, his eyes drifting over Makoto, "Since we shifted, I thought you were still angry with me."

_I never want to see you again! _

Makoto tightened his hands on the sofa, nearly tearing the material, "Did you really think I was serious about a word I said?" His voice was so high, almost as if it had reached a point of climax, "I—we were kids. I never meant a word I said. I sent you letters almost every week. You never replied."

Gou looked stunned, "I never got any letters. How is that—," Then his eyes hardened imperceptibly, but Makoto caught it nevertheless, "Father."

"That's the other reason I came here," Makoto stood up and tried to rearrange his scrambled thoughts, "I came to complete the past."

"Complete the past?" Some of the anger had burned to the back of Gou's mind, but it would still be there, lingering like a subtle poison. Like father, like son.

"Can you take me to your father?" Makoto lowered his voice, "Please?"

Gou gave him a level stare and started walking up the steps. At the end of the steps, Gou took Makoto through a long corridor. At the end of the corridor was a room. Gou knocked on the door. He didn't get any response, yet Gou opened the door.

The room was pitch black, but Makoto could see a TV placed in the end of the room and the walls were littered with photographs of all kinds. There was a beyblade dish in the center and the bed was next to a large window that overlooked the river.

And staring out of the window was a man. He didn't look old, but there were wrinkles on his hands and cheeks. His eyes were the same burgundy as Gou's, but duller and less fiery. _Like tempered blunt steel of a sword_, Makoto thought. There was a walking stick besides him and he was toying with a white scarf. His clothes were a white suit that seems to bear the same ageing marks as the man himself.

"Father," Gou walked up to him and shook him slightly. The man's eyes fluttered slightly and he stared at his son, slightly dazed. Makoto clutched the book tighter into his chest and prayed silently.

"What is it?" The man's voice was rasp and harsh, like a crow. Makoto shivered slightly and walked up to him. The man jerked his eyes off his son and scanned him darkly. Makoto held his composure as those hard (Gou's eyes were so much softer and gentler) eyes roved over him like a panther eyes his prey.

"…Makoto," the man grunted and turned his eyes back to the window, "Such a pity that you have your mother's eyes."

"Father!" Gou's outburst rang in his ears dimly as Makoto tried to calm himself. But images flitted in his head. Makoto could never remember his mother. Whatever he knew about her was through pictures and when his father was feeling nostalgic enough to talk about her. To his father, she was a symbol of pain and joy etched onto one's chest. And she was one of the few people whose memory could make him cry.

"Feh," Makoto wondered why Mr. Hiwatari's eyes were always so cold, "Get out. You're not welcome here."

Makoto could see Gou clenching his fists in the corner of his eyes. Makoto put a hand on his shoulder and watched Gou relax slightly. Makoto closed his eyes and opened them once more, "Mr. Hiwatari, I have something important to give you. Maybe after you let me speak, I will leave."

Gou stared at Makoto as if he was speaking nonsense. Mr. Hiwatari's eyes narrowed at Makoto's retort, but he gestured to the seat and Makoto (letting out a sigh of relief) sat down and avoided looking into Mr. Hiwatari's eyes and stared at the ground. Gou sat next to him.

"Don't look away!" Mr. Hiwatari snapped, "If you need to speak to me, you'd better look at me! That's what your father would have done!"

Makoto stared back evenly, "I am not my father," He breathed softly ("Never back down" his father had told him, "That is the road of victory. When you give up is when the world ends for you").

Mr. Hiwatari stared at the even dark look building up in Makoto's eyes and said simply, "I know."

Makoto relaxed slightly and leaned back on his seat. Then he stared at the ceiling before facing Mr. Hiwatari once more, "My father is dead. He died in his sleep last week."

Mr. Hiwatari's face was covered in shadow so Makoto couldn't see what he looked like. Gou looked away, from his best friend and his father.

Makoto continued, "I went through his room and found this book," The memories were coming back, Makoto thought, staring at the book.

_Otousan, why won't you wake up? Otousan? OTOUSAN! _

…_died in his sleep they say…_

_I always thought the former beyblade champion would go out in a blaze…_

_..he wasn't even that old and he kept himself fit…_

…_how is Makoto taking the news?_

_Otousan is dead. Otousan is dead. _

_Stop crying, stop crying,_

_How old are you?_

_Get up, Makoto. Shame on you! Your father would have…_

_Otousan…_

…_not well…_

_What happens now?_

_Not yet, not yet, not yet, I don't want to see it._

_when everything is settled, I suppose. Put the dead man's matters to rest first._

"Go on," Makoto jerked at the sound of Mr. Hiwatari's voice. It sounded the same; harsh and cold. Makoto felt a flame build up inside of him, but he restrained his temper.

"It's his journal," Makoto said softly, "And I think you need to read it."

"Bullshit," Mr. Hiwatari got up in one fluid motion and threw his walking stick at Makoto. Makoto ducked just in time, "Get out, get out, GET OUT!" His voice was wild and blazing like a rampaging fire.

"He loved you!" Makoto yelled back suddenly, some of the old tears leaving the nest of his eyes, "You have to read it!" (love me, love me, love me. Old wounds were too deep and Makoto can't take out the bullets)

"He left me," Mr. Hiwatari said angrily, "How dare you come to my house and say those things—,"

"Father, calm down!" Gou said, his own eyes blazing, "Too long you've carried around with your grief. Won't you read his last words!"

Mr. Hiwatari collapsed against his seat and mumbled, "Leave, leave, leave…."

Gou moved to approach his father, but Makoto blocked him.

"Give him some time," Makoto said, looking at the murmuring Mr. Hiwatari. Quietly, he left the book by his side and walked out with Gou.

And when Makoto closed the door, he swore he heard him cry.

* * *

A/N: Again with the depression and the angst. Mostly the angst. Do review anyway! 


	2. Moments

**Chapter Two: Moments**

**A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Remember, if you're impatient to get the next installment of Pyrrhic Victory, then head over to my journal!**

Gou placed the cup down and stared at Makoto. _Too long, _he thought to himself, since he's seen his best friend. No one ever replaced Makoto when he left Japan. No one would understand the drive of beyblading like Makoto had. Thus, no one was his friend and while he did feel lonely at times, he submerged himself deeply in the sport that his father had loved. His father never did once pick up a beyblade after leaving Japan. Whenever his father did touch Dranzer, a soft loving smile (and never once, Gou remembered, did he smile like that again) would grace his lips. And Gou would feel content.

Makoto looked older. The cherubic face had trimmed itself into a thinner more feminine oval and like his father had said before, Makoto had inherited the distant cool black of his mother. Gou wondered what Makoto's mother looked like before. Gou could barely remember his own mother. Sometimes, it frustrated him that he could never remember who she was. It seemed almost blasphemous in nature to him.

"Was that all you came back for?" How controlled, how dark and lost Gou's voice seemed to Makoto, calling out from the other side of the room. Makoto could recall flickers of the tempestuous and eager voice Gou had when he was younger. And where had all that energy, that vigour gone? Makoto mourned the loss of a precious memory.

"No," And that was true, Makoto knew. He owed a debt, a last wish in his father's memory. But he owed himself much more. When Gou moved away, Makoto was as lost as Gou's voice right now. He remembered standing by the doorway and his father placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Makoto remembered crying and his father trying to soothe him with placating words a grownup offers a child in the time of nightmare.

"You'll see him again," His father had said. And though his intent was true and the promise was there, Makoto remembered how the hand on his shoulder trembled and there were tears on his father's eyes as well.

Gou cooled at Makoto's response and laid his head back. After a while he spoke again, "How did he die?"

"It was natural," Makoto could remember those doctor reports as clear as day. The doctors told him that his father's condition had been deteriorating for years. Makoto had called anyone and everyone who could help. But his father forbade it and let himself rot away. It always bothered Makoto that his father died with a smile.

_Someone who is leaving me behind should not smile. _

"I see," And Gou thought of his own father who was sitting in his room. It was that harsh raven glare that was directed at him whenever Gou entered his room that always made Gou feel like he was nothing more than a pane of glass for his father to crack. Now, as he looked at the stairs, he wondered why he loved his father.

_Why? _

-XX-

Kai didn't want to touch it. The very idea seemed repugnant to him. But curiosity made him close in on it and put it on his lap. Ah, how could the feel of something that belonged to a person you care for be so powerful? Entranced, Kai opened it and stared at the first pages. The memories washed over him gently like a summer tide and Kai let himself get submerged.

_1st December, 1998_

_I hate winter. I hate the way it freezes your movement and the mush that gets into your shoe. I picked this up today because I want to curse winter in all its glory. Today, we nearly lost someone who was dear to us. It's a feeling I never want to experience again. I was so scared that once I grasped his hand, it would slip and I would let go. But today, I will make a promise. I will never let him go again. _

_Kai lives in eternal winter. He feels cold inside, I know. He hates it as much as I do. So, when I tell him that I hate winter, we can hate it together and there would be no more winter. Isn't that a lovely concept? But maybe I'm being a little unfair. Maybe I shouldn't blame winter really. Where would we be without some misery? _

_I wonder if I was strong enough, I would have been able to hold this team together. It's not like I'm not trying, it's just that I think I wasn't trying hard enough. I know we can do anything and it shows. But how long with the glue hold? Is there an expiry date on the bond we have? I think that for all my trying, they will leave me. He will leave me. _

_Then where would I be? Would I be like Kai, dwelling in eternal winter? I hate the cold; I hate the loneliness that winter brings. But if I can keep it together, we can play in the summer and winter will be far away. _

_I can only hope. _

Kai shut the book with a slam. He felt his heart choke and he threw the book away from him. It landed twenty feet away from him on the floor. Kai felt his insides churn and he wondered why he felt so sick inside.

Everything that happened, he thought rebelliously, everything that caused their separation was all Tyson's fault!

The book was quiet as if it had no more words to spare.


	3. Dijurido

**Chapter Three: Dijurido**

* * *

The sky was dark. Makoto opened the curtains to see the arrows of light dimly pierce the oppressive clouds above them. Like a storm being born, the clouds circled each other in a waltz that looked almost beautiful. Heavy and twisting, they swallowed the sky and its blue light. And even those tiny pinpricks of light that had pierced the clouds were being engulfed by its power. Makoto stared at the sight before shutting the curtains once more. The fireplace by the living room had been lit and Gou was adding more wood to the consuming red flames. Makoto could see the flames flicker in Gou's eyes and he wondered whether Gou was ever scared of getting burned. He presumed it was a family trait, but even then….

"_Otousan, otousan! Gou fell into the river! He needs help!" _

"_Coming, coming!" _

"_Will Gou be all right? ….He won't die would he?"_

"_Of course not Makoto. Gou will be fine."_

"…_."_

"_He will be fine."_

It was one of those few moments in his life that he was truly scared. Scared that his best friends would die and vanish just like his mother had. When a person dies, they are forgotten. Makoto knows that eventually, everyone will forget Tyson the World Champion. It was…only a matter of time. If Makoto had the power, he would wish that those memories would last forever. That no one is the world could never forget. But never forgetting means never forgiving as well. And as Makoto watched Gou poke the fire with the poker, he knew that it would take a long time for this hurt to heal. Because it didn't only extend to him and Gou, but it went further to their fathers as well.

Gou stood up and rubbed his hands slightly, "It's cold today," He remarked, turning to meet Makoto's eyes. Impassionate fathomless black met his stare and he wondered if they ever changed. Gou was sure that they moved according to mood and one day, he would see those eyes change into something wonderful.

"That it is," Makoto said, "Have you looked outside?"

"I have, actually," Gou said, "It's like the gods are stewing up the sky."

Makoto chuckled and Gou saw it. It was just a second long and it vanished before he could actually notice it for what it was. Like the subtle shadowing of trees, Makoto's eyes changed. Warmer, softer like the charcoal brushing on a canvass. It was worth the bad joke, Gou thought smirking.

"I should get dinner ready," Gou said, setting the poker by the side of the fireplace. Makoto watched him quietly and asked, "Should I help?"

Gou shook his head, "Nah," then he paused and thought it over, "Well, you could call Father down."

There was an imperceptible chill that filled the room by those words. Gou froze immediately and hastily said, "Actually I should probab—,"

"I'll go get him."

"—bly call him down—huh?" Gou stopped abruptly, "You'll what?"

"I'll get him down," Makoto's eyes were still black, but there was a solid barrier of steel behind those words. Gou hoped that something too dangerous didn't erupt between them. It was a catastrophe he would like to avoid at all costs.

Gou hesitated (and stumbled over the words in his head) and stopped.

"All right," Gou smiled warmly, taking Makoto aback, "You go get him."

Makoto smiled back and began walking up the stairs, each footstep sounding more solemnly than the last.

-XX-

The book lay there, taunting him. Kai could feel the urge to pick it up. _Tyson's _words were written there, written there for him to _see. _And maybe he could understand this feeling of hurt that has consumed him and made him embittered. Where was Dranzer? When was the last time he had picked her up? Kai shook her head trying to dislodge the thoughts in his head.

_Tyson. _His memories were dim. How long had he recalled Tyson? It seems that for days, he would lock himself here reminiscing and cursing (always cursing and the hurling of vases against the floor. If there was anything, _anything_ that could remove the burn in his chest when he remembered the past. The tears came much later) and then he would curl up against the floor always feeling broken and so lonely because it was the betrayal that hurt, but the loneliness that hurt even more.

Kai stared at the book, debilitating thoughts drifting into his head. If he read a little more…maybe he would understand what happened. Kai's hands itched traitorously and he ignored the book by looking out of the window. But his eyes betrayed him as he would stray back to it once more.

It bothered him that he never remembered seeing Tyson with a journal. Never in the many years that they had been teammates (and then friends and then further till each lifeline in their hands were memorized in loving detail). Why had Tyson never told him? Why had Tyson (of all people) kept a secret from him? Kai stared at the book as if it was responsible for the rift between them. Uncertainly (it won't bite and yet Kai feared it more than a gun) he picked it up once more and ran his hands down the spine. It felt familiar and Kai wondered whether he had seen the journal before, but never truly made a note of it. It wouldn't be unusual (his memory got worse and worse as the years passed by) for him to forget and yet….

Kai set it up his side once more and began walking slow circles around his bed. The book was laid innocently on the bed and Kai felt his fingers twitch in curiosity. Why had that boy (Tyson's child, Tyson's child, his head whispered back at him enviously) brought it here? What would Makoto possible gain from all this? A rekindling of old friendships with Gou? Was that it?

Despite the fact he looked embittered and isolated; Kai did still keep occasional tabs on the beyblading world (the world that Tyson embraced so whole-heartedly that Kai was dragged along. If they never met, would it be possible that Kai would have given up beyblading?). Sometimes, just to check on Gou's achievements whenever he was out of the country (and to remind himself that Gou was fine so he didn't worry excessively) and sometimes just to be in touch. It would be a waste to abandon something that had consumed him completely when he was a youth.

But rumours can infiltrate even the most fortified bunker and Kai hadn't missed the tell-tale whispers about Tyson's not-so prodigious son. He hated them (oh, how did he hate them. He raged on for days for saying things like that against Tyson! And Tyson's son! The blasphemy and the sacrilege would fever his mind blacker than the plague) and sometimes he would contact old associates to make sure those rumours had been erased (and sometimes the people as well. No, Kai was not being irrational).

_Knock. _

Kai jolted himself out of his reverie and narrowed his eyes at the door. Gou usually never knocked before entering. Clearing his throat, he asked, "Who is it?" An ominous silence followed his question and Kai asked again, "Who is it?"

"….It's me." A quiet voice answered. Kai scowled, "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to call you downstairs. Dinner is ready."

"Why didn't Gou come?" Kai wondered if Makoto was as much as a martyr that Tyson portrayed himself to be. The thought made him sick.

There was a pregnant pause after that question and Kai could feel the tension building up like ash in his throat.

"…Because I wanted to," Makoto's voice filtered through the door. It sounded like a disembodied voice and for a moment, Kai felt he was on the edge of a cliff. That phrase had sounded too familiar and his mind dredged up another memory.

"_Because I wanted to," The voice drifted behind him. He paused. He didn't look, but he paused. A hand reached for him, but he pushed it away. He…he didn't want to feel anything. Being empty…was just fine. No pain that way. No gain that way either, but it was better…so much better to not expect anything anymore and rely on your own despair._

"_But I don't," And he kept walking, his own footsteps sounding like the drumming to the sacrificial altar. He kept telling himself, "it's better this way" because it was better this way. He had nothing to gain…but, but it was better than losing what he had just received back. _

_Anything for things to stay the same. Anything…_

The door creaked open and for a moment Makoto didn't believe that this broken man who stood at the entrance was the same one who was yelling at him earlier. He hesitated (know where you stand, especially with people, his father told him once) and decided to say nothing. He just waited beside Mr. Hiwatari. Kai blinked and with a gruff nod, proceeded down the steps. Makoto blinked and with a small smile followed the man.

-XX-

Dinner was not something Gou was looking forward to. He knew that with Makoto here, his father would not be on his best behavior. In truth, he was having mixed feelings about dinner himself. He was angry at his father for taking away Makoto's letters from him, slightly angry at Makoto for shouting at him when he left, angry at himself because he had no idea how to fix things. He was at odds at the situation and he simply didn't know what to do. And that scared him.

He didn't want things to remain this way.

He…

He wanted his best friend back.

The spoons clicked the porcelain plates and eyes darted from side to side. It was like watching a chessboard, not knowing who would play the first move. Makoto kept his eyes focused on the food, trying to ignore Mr. Hiwatari's baleful glare. Gou kept subtly stabbing his potatoes to death, feeling the edges of frustration bare its teeth at him. The silence hovered above them, snickering softly. Really, it wasn't quite the family dinner people expected.

_Click _went the spoon against the porcelain plate. The noise seemed to shake the inhabitants out of their self-imposed reverie.

"Father, are you attending the tournament next week?" Gou said cautiously, "They want you to be one of the judges."

Kai shot him a disgruntled look and said, "I'll think about it."

Gou felt himself deflate slightly inside. Makoto noticed his reaction and blurted out suddenly, "Is there any way for me to enter?"

Kai and Gou stared at him incredulously. But the beginnings of a smile grew on Gou's face.

"I'm sure they can make an exception for you," Gou said, raising his soup spoon to his face, "I think it's a great idea Makoto."

Kai ignored them.

"Then I'll enter then," Makoto said, feeling better.

Gou smirked, "You better be good Makoto," He sipped his soup and set the spoon down, "I don't want to go against anything less."

* * *

**A/N: A big thanks to my reviewers who are the most amazing bunch ever for reviewing this story. Love you guys!**


	4. Passion

**Chapter Four: Passion**

* * *

They say games never grow old. Certainly the fashion changes from time to time, but even then you would find old hardened fans still playing in the alleys. Unpopular games, old games, but there is no such thing as a game that simply vanishes.

Beyblade was one such game.

Makoto stepped out into the glaring stadium lights and felt his eyes burn. It felt like years since he stepped into an arena, with everything so busy at home, settling Tyson's funeral arrangements and so on so forth. Those last months were hectic, if not unbearable.

_He remembered grabbing his father's hands and asking him when Gou was going to come back. After all, he is coming back, right? Makoto saw his father's face darken and remembered being pulled into his embrace._

He shook his head furiously and rubbed his eyes slightly. He really wished he could just forget everything that had happened. He watched as the stadium slowly began to fill and smiled. He won't think about it today. His hand slipped into his pocket and gripped his beyblade tightly.

"Makoto!"

He jerked lightly and turned around to find himself thumped on the back repeatedly. His back throbbing, he smiled and shook the person's hand, "Good to see you Daichi."

Daichi smirked and surveyed Makoto like a mother hen would survey her chicks, "You're looking much better, I see. Found the elusive Hiwataris?"

"Yeah."

"You don't sound very happy about it."

"My welcome wasn't…appreciated," Makoto swallowed slightly. The harshness of Kai's voice still evoked strong disappointment.

"When you say that, I know what you mean," Daichi said knowingly, clapping a hand on Makoto's shoulder (now both shoulder and back began to ache), "But Kai is not all that bad," He paused as if assessing what he had just uttered and raised his hand to his forehead mockingly, "Lord, how _could _I say that? Must be the ol' Western chill."

Makoto stared at him questioningly.

"In truth, I had never liked Kai. Kai hated me because, y'know, I was Tyson's partner. There was one time he slaughtered me in a beyblade fight. …What did he say? I don't think I'll ever forget those words. Ah yes. He said, _'you never be worthy enough to blade with Tyson. He deserves better'."_

"He said that!" Makoto said aghast, his jaw hanging out. Compared to what Daichi went through, his welcoming experience seemed trivial and _nice. _

"Kai respects one thing kid, and that, is power," Daichi said softly, "But if it hadn't been for your dad runnin' up and saying, _'I want you to blade with me' I_ would not have been here today. Kai helped me pick up my game, but he also taught me I had lots of room for improvement. I wasn't good enough _yet._"

Makoto clenched his fists again. _I want you to blade with me. _That sounded like his father. Never gave up. Was he angry? Yes, he felt angry.

Daichi watched Makoto quietly for a few seconds and whistled softly. Makoto _looked _a lot like Tyson, but inside, there was a core of misunderstandings and regrets mixed in him. _Ah Tyson, _he thought, watching Makoto look at the arena with empty eyes, _what would you say now if you saw him?_

Daichi sighed and picked up his microphone. The stadium was nearly full and they were waiting for him.

"Okay people, let's round this place up and get this tournament startin'!" His voice boomed. Daichi ushered Makoto towards the other bladers, "And we have a great line-up from all over the world! Our great guest appearance for the day is—,"

Daichi saw a flash of red and blue, stared for a millisecond and changed what he was about to say, "—Gou Hiwatari, son of Kai Hiwatari himself! Fancy that folks! Apparently the prince has decided to come out of his self-imposed retirement! What a surprise!"

Gou stood protectively in front of Makoto, glaring slightly at Daichi. Daichi smiled, winked at him and continued, "And even the King himself has shown up!"

A spotlight hit a person in the audience. Makoto's eyes widened as he stared at amazement. Mr. Hiwatari was in the spectator seats. He nudged Gou slightly and pointed, "Did you know he was going to be here? I thought he said no!" He hissed.

Gou shook his head, "I'm still in shock here. He _hates _coming to tournaments."

Makoto looked at Kai apprehensively and gripped his beyblade. Somehow seeing Kai present seemed to instill a new form of courage in his hands.

He can't afford any losses today.

* * *

Kai stifled a yawn when the preliminaries started. Honestly, he used to take pleasure in seeing cocky youths being disillusioned by tougher bladers (particularly if it was his son doing the disillusioning), but really, it does get tedious after a while.

He picked up Tyson's journal once more and stared at it in trepidation. Ever since his experience with the entry he had read, the journal grew on his mind, eating away his sleep. Sometimes, he would wake up and glare at it. But he took great care of it.

Would this unlock the great secret? The one that lay festering in his mind for ten years?

Makoto and Gou had already finished their preliminaries. It couldn't hurt to take another look. Gently, he raised the page and passed the entry he had already read.

_15th January 2001,_

_I think I've lost my mind. I must have been because under any other circumstances I would have never done with to begin with. I told him. He hasn't said anything, but that's probably because I haven't given him time to answer. Ha! So much for being brave._

_But then…could I have continued this way? I don't think I had that strength. I'm not strong enough, never have been. I need…I need to be needed. I need my friends, my family. I need him. _

_I probably just lost him. Funny how that works. I guess I'll never be strong enough._

Kai shut the book quietly. He remembered that day clearly. It was hard not to. Everything about that day was miserable and beautiful. He hated it, loved it and couldn't help remembering it even now.

"_You better have a good reason for calling me out here," He said, trying to get the snow out of his shoes. He grumbled as he readjusted his scarf for the third time already. _

_Tyson smirked and said playfully, "Have I ever had a good reason for calling you?" _

_Kai growled, "It's bad enough that it's snowing outside, don't spoil my mood any more than it's already it."_

_Tyson's smile faded slightly and Kai kicked the snow in irritation. He was getting snow flakes in his hair and the cold was making his face drawn. Tyson walked a few paces ahead, the snowflakes wreathing his hair slightly. Kai watched him quietly and followed him. _

"_I…I think my greatest fear is," Tyson said, looking away from Kai, "being alone."_

_Kai blinked._

"_You would have no problem with that," Tyson said sheepishly, "I mean, being a loner, you wouldn't understand. But I want people to be happy, because then they would stay. And never go. That would make me happy."_

_Kai grunted slightly, "You can't tie people down forever. They go because they have dreams to follow. And those dreams aren't bound to you."_

"_I know that! I know that," Tyson said loudly, feeling his cheeks flame in embarrassment, "But I still want them to stay! I wanted you to stay the most, but you still left!"_

_Kai said nothing._

"_I know I can't make you promise you to stay," Tyson said softly, "But can you promise me one thing at least? One tiny thing?"_

"_You know how I feel about promises," Kai said quietly._

"_I know that too. I know so much about you Kai," Tyson said in a tone filled with pride, "But this is the one thing—the one thing that I need."_

_Kai sighed and nodded his head._

"_Promise me, no matter where you go or how long you stay there, you'll come back to me one day."_

_Kai felt the world had settled on his shoulders. The painful weight of the promise and the grave look in Tyson's eyes were haunting in their faith. Kai nodded and sealed his fate with two words._

"_I will."_

Kai traced the spine of the journal. It _was _a promise, a promise he never fulfilled. Because at that time, he had no intention of leaving. But he did leave, left Tyson behind. Did the one thing that Tyson feared the most.

He felt disgusted with himself.

"And we have only two bladers left to compete! Will the two bladers be able to finish what their fathers could not!"

Kai growled slightly at hearing Daichi's voice. He should know better than to tread that ground. Daichi knew what he was doing. It was spite, the vilest form of it. But then, Daichi has always been Tyson's greatest supporter, despite their early rivalry.

Makoto and Gou stared at each other from opposite sides of the ring. They had a standard beydish and that was enough. Kai watched them quietly. They didn't speak to each other, but the way they raised their blades seemed like a salute to leaders. Their eyes spoke volumes if you looked close enough, but body language was enough for anyone to notice. Quite different from his first match with Tyson.

"Three—Two—One! Let them rip!"

Kai jolted slightly at hearing Tyson's old catchphrase and watched the blades circle each other menacingly. The audience were hushed, realizing that they were privy to a great match. Dranzer spun sharply to create a haze in the dish, but Dragoon caused a mini-typhoon to bring back circulation. Dranzer slammed into Dragoon, but Dragoon retaliated. Dranzer released her fire-arrows, but Dragoon caught them in his Phantom Hurricane. They were, in all ways, evenly matched.

Their bits started to glow and their bit-beasts appeared. Kai stood him in shock. Dranzer and Dragoon had not been summoned, yet here they are _out of their own volition. _Makoto and Gou braced themselves and Dragoon and Dranzer circled each other.

_This looks familiar…_

They twined into each other, a mesh of gold and blue, a pillar of intense light.

_When Tyson first received his bit-beast._

The typhoon grew alarmingly large and you could hear Dranzer's shrieks echo in the stadium. People began to panic as seats were uplifted into the air. Daichi was shouting at security and was pulling out his own beyblade. Kai stepped forward, stumbling from the chaotic winds and heat. Makoto and Gou had vanished from sight.

Then, the typhoon slowly began to die down. Slowly, the audience watched as the typhoon slowly vanished and the two beyblades were motionless on the ground. Makoto picked himself off the ground and stared at Dragoon incrediously.

"What a match ladies and gentlemen! Nothing less to be expected from these great prodigies!" Daichi belted out, discreetly slipping his beyblade back into his pocket. Kai sat down quietly as Makoto and Gou shook hands and walked away. Kai narrowed his eyes at the arena. He knew something more than a battle happened down there. He walked down from the spectator seats and saw Daichi waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

"You know what that was?" Daichi said, "Of course you do."

Kai ignored the sarcasm, "Long time no see Daichi. How's Rin?"

Daichi shrugged, "She's with her parents right now."

"I see you haven't told Rei yet then."

Daichi looked away, "She's waiting for me. When I'm ready, I'll tell him. And believe me, unlike you, I won't let her go."

Kai began walking away.

"Kai!"

Kai paused.

"Makoto never did tell you how Tyson died, did he?"

"…No," Kai said.

"I see. I suggest then, asking him about that. There aren't any more second chances left for you, y'know. If you regret the past, and I know you do, Makoto is your only chance of redeeming anything."

Kai began walking towards the exit.

"I'm glad you're doing okay Kai!"

Kai raised his hand in mock salute and went through the exit. The sunlight outside blinded him.

* * *

A/N: A great thanks to all my reviewers, especially Kali-chan for bearing with me for so long! I hope you all enjoy this chapter


	5. Shadows Left by Time

**Chapter Five: Shadows Left by Time**

* * *

After the tournament, Kai had locked himself in his room, refusing to come down for meals. The house was silent as if observing a grave problem. Even the gargoyles that guarded the entrance to the house seemed foreboding in their ugliness. The servants scuttled in and out of the house for no more than ten seconds a day and then they vanished from sight as if they never existed to begin with. 

Gou took meals upto his father's room and decided to ask his father what had gotten him so upset. Was it because their match had ended in a tie? No, his father was not so demanding of him. Then what could it be?

"Come in," His father's voice grated. Gou tentatively opened the door slightly, "Father?"

"What is it?" His father grated, "I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed."

"I need to talk to you," Gou said firmly, "Now."

He heard his father grumble and feeling more confident, Gou pushed the door open and saw him sitting on his bed with a large dusty book on his lap. Gou craned his neck slightly to see what it was. It looked like…

Kai slammed the book shut, startling Gou out of his reverie, "What is it?"

Gou gulped slightly. He may be twenty-one, but his father still daunted him at times, "Why aren't you coming down to eat? Makoto is worried about you."

"Lies," Kai said sharply. Gou narrowed his eyes and growled lowly. Kai continued, "He hates me. Haven't you noticed? He blames me for his father's death."

Gou looked away. Makoto had been worried about Kai and sincerely too. However, Makoto was also afraid of Kai. Gou was glad he came upstairs alone.

"Father," Gou cautiously started once more, "What is bothering you so much? Why won't you tell me? And why did you never give me Makoto's letters?"

Kai's eyes narrowed, "So he told you."

Gou took a step back and closed his eyes in pain, "Then it's true. You lied to me. You said he never cared, that I was an expendable friend to him. Why?"

Kai looked away, "What do you remember…about your mother?"

Gou wondered what brought about this new topic change, but he answered anyway, "Nothing. You never spoke of her."

"…I suppose that is my fault," Kai said, picking up the large journal and placing it on the desk, "She left me for another man, you see. Because I never loved her enough. I knew it was coming, so I didn't stop her. She was in the right, after all."

"And me?" Gou's voice cracked, "What about me?"

Kai looked at him thoughtfully and said, "There was a long arduous court battle about who won custody of you. She did love you, but I think…" Kai shook his head, "No, I'm rambling. What was I saying? Of course, she loved you."

Gou felt his knees weaken slightly.

"Now, my turn for questions," Kai said, "What happened at the stadium? I know something happened. Don't lie."

Gou said nothing, looking outside the window. It always seemed like winter here. The trees outside looked like a disfiguration of wraiths and black wands.

"I really don't know how it happened," Gou admitted, "All I remember was the churning winds surrounding us."

_The wind whipped around them as if trying to lift them off the ground. Gou tried to reach for his blade, but he couldn't see clearly. Makoto was on his knees, his hand outstretched for his blade, but it evaded him. Gou tried to move forward by crawling. The shrieks of the bit-beasts reached such a fearful pitch that he had to clap his ears shut. Makoto cringed and then yelled out, "I'm sorry Otousan, I'm sorry!"_

_Gou stared at him in amazement. Makoto wiped his eyes, and yelled again, "I didn't mean it! I swear I didn't!"_

_As if listening to Makoto's pleas, the wind began to hum softly and the tornado started to disappear. _

"—And then, it vanished and we found our beyblades on the ground," Gou finished.

Kai was silent for a while. Gou continued to stare out of the window into the white wastelands below. He had omitted some parts. Some things he felt he shouldn't share with his father yet. He felt Makoto's cries echo in his head and his heart lurched. That moment, witnessing Makoto's inner anguish, made him feel hopeless. He had given so much thought about his pain, that he hadn't given much thought about Makoto's. Makoto had lost his father, but Gou still had his. Was Makoto jealous of Gou? Did Makoto hate his father? Why had Makoto come back? Was it just to fulfill his father's last wish? No, Makoto seemed to have a bigger agenda.

"Not the same, and yet so similar," Kai murmured.

"Pardon?"

"I'm rambling."

"…Father."

"Hm?"

"Do…do you really hate…Makoto?" Gou said softly.

Kai turned and faced Gou. Gou was taken aback by the old fire in his father's eyes and cursed himself for asking such an obvious question.

"What do you think Gou?" Kai said in soft anger, "Do you really think I can hate that boy? The flesh and blood of Tyson? Do you really think I could do that?"

Gou felt the relief spread through his body, "No Father. I don't think you are able to."

"Good."

* * *

"He said that?" Makoto spluttered out incrediously, "Really!" 

Gou nodded, "I couldn't believe it myself if I hadn't heard it personally."

"That's just….wow…" Makoto said, thinking aloud, "Wow."

Gou smiled at Makoto's reaction and sat down next to him, "Such a shame, the way that match ended in stalemate."

"I know," Makoto said wistfully.

"Especially since everyone knows I'm the real winner."

"Yeah since—Hold on there!" Makoto choked slightly, "What do you mean, you're the real winner? Everyone knows that I'm the winner."

"Nah. I think I saw Dranzer twitch before going kaput."

"Nu-huh. That was Dragoon."

"Dranzer!"

"Dragoon!"

"Dranzer!"

"Dragoon!"

"Draciel!"

"Dra—Wha?"

They turned to see Max Tate removing his boots and pulling out his scarf.

"Uncle Max?" Makoto stared, "W-What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you that Makoto-kun," Max said and winced, "Ah, my Japanese accent has gone to the dogs. Gou! Wow, you have grown. Taller than your old man yet?"

Gou shut his jaw (it had been hanging open for a good five seconds) and managed to speak, "Nearly."

"Well, let's hope so. Kai hates losing in anything and that includes height," Max said winking, "Speaking of the old Scrooge, where is he?"

"Right here," Kai said, coming down the staircase, "I see you've lost your manners. Whatever happened to calling ahead to tell me you're coming? Maybe I should let you freeze outside."

Makoto wondered how he was able to say that with a straight face. Gou personally was hoping his father didn't carry out his threat.

"Aw, I missed you too Kai!" Max said cheerfully (Kai groaned slightly), "As for the invitations, I thought I sent a letter. Didn't you get it?"

"You did?" Kai blinked, "The servants never gave me any mail from you."

Max scratched his chin thoughtfully, "I gave it to my mom to send, but she must have gotten sidetracked."

Kai sighed, "Then I suppose you're staying here?"

"Kai, I never thought you'd ask! Where do I put my bags?"

Kai slapped his forehead.

* * *

"Ah, _arigatou gozaimasu _Makoto-kun," Max said, putting his duffle bag on the bed, "These old legs aren't what they used to be." 

"Not a problem Uncle Max," Makoto said, setting the luggage onto the ground, "Do you need anything else?"

"Actually yes," Max said, pulling the curtains open, "I need to talk to you."

Makoto's heart lurched, "Did something happen?"

"Ah no, everyone is fine and dandy," Max said turning to face him, "But they're wondering when you're coming to settle the will. It's been a month. You can't put it off forever. Rei is worried, everyone is. You need to go back as soon as possible."

"So you came here to fetch me," Makoto said faintly.

"Yes and no. Actually, I'm on my own pilgrimage. Checking out the old monuments and so on." Max looked out the window, "Y'know, the more you think things will change, the more they stay the same. Or that could be me. Even now, I think the world is the same."

"Uncle Max…"

"You need to wrap up things here Makoto. Hitoshi's getting impatient and Hitoshi is one of the most patient people I know. But this is personal for him. It's personal for all of us."

"He—I don't think he's ready yet."

"I don't think he'll ever be. Contrary to what you may think, Tyson was the only friend Kai really had. I know, we were his friends too, but Tyson, Tyson reached out for him. Tyson went to the Abbey to get him back. Tyson cried for him. And I can say for sure, that Tyson is the only one who really forgave him when Kai left him. Twice."

"Kai will come," Max said finally, "I know he will. No matter how much he says he won't, he'll be there. Now, let's go for a walk."

"Huh?"

"There's a place we need to go to. And I think that place will answer all your doubts."

"What about Gou?"

"I think Gou would have to wait. _Haiyaku, haiyaku!"_

"Right…And stop speaking Japanese."

"_Hai, hai."_

* * *

Makoto felt cold. Even though he was bundled up tighter than clothes rack, he could feel the icy chill creep up to his fingers. He was quite sure his face was blue. Max looked fine, wearing only a long thick cloak and woollen scarf. 

Makoto muttered slightly under his breath as he tried to catch up to Max. The roads were badly made and every ten minutes Makoto tripped over a stone. He couldn't see any people on this road and wondered where Max was taking him.

"Ah…I'm surprised to see it standing," Max said stopping and looking at it strangely, "I thought it would have been burnt to the ground by now."

Makoto's breath came out in tiny, white wisps, "What is this place?" He said huskily. He could feel an aura of mystery and sorrow shroud the building.

"This?" Max said cheerfully, "This is the Abbey."

Makoto inhaled harshly, "T-This is the Abbey? _The_ Abbey!"

"Yes, this is the Abbey. As you can see, its glory days were a long time ago," Max said, watching Makoto's shock from the corner of his eyes, "It's quite deceptive in its looks. We went inside, so we know better. Kai knows best. After all, he lived here. Isn't that right Kai?"

Makoto spun around to see Kai standing behind him. He teetered back and instinctively looked at Max. All that joy seemed to have vanished and Max looked…mournful.

"If I knew you were going to be here, I wouldn't have come," Kai muttered.

"Then it's a good thing I didn't tell you now, did I?" Max said playfully.

"Perhaps," Kai paused, "Brings back memories, huh?"

"More for you than me," Max said, "…I wish they were still here."

"They should have listened to me. The surgery could have saved them."

"Do you really think so?" Max whispered, "Could they have been saved? Or were they doomed from the minute those experiments started?"

"Shut up," Kai snarled, "Anyone can get their second chance."

Max's lips twitched into a smile, "That's the Kai I know. 'Anyone can get their second chance' huh?"

Kai looked away, "…If anything else, that is the one thing I will hold onto."

Max wiped his eyes gently, "Ah…I suppose they were happy to the end. The very end…" Max's voice trembled, "…Getting old hurts."

Makoto felt his chest constrict at Max's pain and looked at Kai. He watched, entranced by the few tears that slipped past Kai's eyes. Kai rubbed his face and started at the Abbey sternfully.

"I think Makoto has something to tell you Kai," Max said suddenly, "Don't you Makoto?"

Kai swung his head towards Makoto and Makoto felt the burn of his eyes. Nevertheless, he spoke calmly, "Tyson's will reading will be held soon. C-Can you coming?"

The wind fell silent on their ears as Makoto waited for Kai's answer.

"Anyone can get their second chance, Kai," Max said quietly, "But I think Tyson would have given you unlimited chances."

Kai looked at the hope glittering in Makoto's dark eyes and sighed. Really, everything returns to the beginning doesn't it?

"I'll come."

* * *


	6. Dust in the Wind

**Chapter Six: Dust in the Wind**

* * *

"We're going to Japan?" Gou said incredoiusly, watching his father dump a whole bunch of clothes onto the bed (he had clearly hadn't picked the clothes out. There were purple pants in the pile), "Why?"

"Hurry up and pack," Kai said, avoiding Gou's question, "The flight leaves tonight."

Gou looked at his father contemplatively and decided against it, "All right. I'll get packed."

"You do that," Kai said, stuffing his clothes in a duffle bag, "Tell Makoto to get ready as well."

Gou nodded and closed the door. Kai wiped his brow and looked at his bag. He zipped it and glanced at the journal on the table. Should he take it with him? Kai approached it quietly and then, opened it once more. They say curiosity killed the cat, but Kai had a feeling curiosity could be a lot more harmful.

_23rd April, 2005_

_I never told him I loved him. Even after marrying Hitomi, I never told him. I think he knew and he was hurt by it. Of course, he retaliated by marrying Jun. I suppose hate breeds hate, love bleeds hurt. I suppose now, we can have what we wanted the most; a family. But I guess we'll never share it. _

_2nd March, 2007 _

_Hitomi is dead. Childbearing was too much for her. I had my doubts about it. I knew that she wouldn't make it, and yet it was I who pushed her forward. I remember what she said before she slipped away from me. "I hope you'll love this child more than you loved me". Hitomi was always smart. Can I do this? Can I love him as much as I love you? Perhaps I put too much hope in myself. I need him now, need this child of Hitomi's, child of mine. I will love him, but perhaps love isn't enough. _

_12th September, 2009_

_ Jun is with child. Kai isn't looking me in the eye._

"Father, get ready!"

Kai slammed the journal immediately. He calmed down when he realized it was only Gou. Quickly, he unzipped his bag and slipped the journal in. Zipping it once more, he slung it over his shoulder and proceeded down the stairs. Max, Makoto and Gou were waiting for him. Max shot him a rueful grin before opening the doors and walking outside. Kai followed him with Makoto and Gou shooting each other curious looks.

The airport was quite empty during this time of year, so it took them no time at all to get through immigration and security check (though they gotten held up several times because of Kai arguing with the guards that beyblades are NOT lethal weapons).

They settled into their seats. Kai sat next to the window, contemplating pulling out the journal once more. Max lapsed into slumber almost immediately. Makoto and Gou looked like they were going to follow Max's example.

Kai tried to recall the conversation he had with Tyson concerning families.

"_I want a family," Tyson said, "Wouldn't that be great?"_

"_If you like squealing infants and screaming women," Kai said nastily._

"_I think you want one too Kai."_

"_You wish."_

"_Now you're being grumpy."_

"…_I suppose I wouldn't mind."_

"_Great!"_

"…_On one condition."_

"_Huh? What is it?"_

"_If I must have a family…then, it has to be with you."_

"_Kai…"_

Kai shook his head slightly. It had been stupid obviously. Tyson married Hitomi and he, he married Jun. Tyson loved Hitomi, even though he read that journal entry. He saw their affection in public. It had hurt because for so long, Tyson held onto him and Kai… Kai was happy. Then Tyson moved to her and Kai felt betrayed. That hurt took a long time to fade. If it hadn't been for Gou, it might have never left.

And then there was…

Kai closed his eyes slightly and opened them. Below him lay rivers of golden stars intertwining with each other. They glowed with their own fire, a fire so like his own once upon a time. Kai closed his eyes and let his mind be carried off into dreamtime.

* * *

"_I'm marrying Hitomi," Tyson said quietly on the phone, "I-I know you don't approve, but I—,"_

_The phone message was abruptly cut off as the phone was thrown against the wall. It collapsed onto the ground as Kai picked up a lamp and flung it against the window. He was angry. Break, crash, smash, crack, shatter, and melt into the floor. Everything was useless, he was useless and it was proven so! He had nothing, nothing, nothing! _

_He sank into the floor, beating his fists on the floor. Break, break, break! Where are the joys of life now? Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do? Why couldn't he melt away and forget!_

_He was a loner. Now, he was another dependant soul attached to Tyson. Nothing more._

"You're sweating," Max said, shaking him gently, "Here; wipe your face."

Kai took it gratefully and wiped himself. His face felt feverish and his hands couldn't get a grip of the towel Max had given him. Kai gasped slightly and turned his head away from such weakness. Honestly, ten years, it's been ten years, and even now, he clings onto old hurts like it was a fresh wound.

"He never told you, did he?" Max said gently, "He never told you it was an arranged marriage."

Kai felt his body stumble, "A-Arranged?" He said faintly.

Max nodded, "Well, he could have called it off, but he didn't."

"Why didn't he?"

"I think it has something to do with you."

"He knew I loved him! He knew!" Kai said, knowing that his voice was rising and his hands won't stop shaking, "We never said it, but he knew!"

Max sighed, "Look, I don't know why he never told you. I don't know. I don't know why you two were stuck in this cycle of pain and confusion. Just don't drag your son into it. Tyson did that and look where that got him."

"Makoto?" Kai said, trying to switch the topic carefully, "What happened to him?"

"Let's just say Tyson's last moments weren't the most pleasant and memorable," Max said subtly, "You giving me back my towel or not?"

* * *

"Hey Gou?"

"Hmm?"

"…You don't hate me, right?"

"What? What made you think that?"

Makoto fidgeted, "Because of what I said when you left," He finished lamely.

Gou's eyebrows went up, "Like you said earlier, you were a kid right? We were ten. We thought forever lasts till dinnertime. I can't hate you for that."

"Ah," Makoto said weakly and turned to look at Kai discreetly, "He really loves you. You're really lucky."

Gou looked at his father mutely, "I don't know. He-He's difficult to please. But I think I have a piece of his heart and I'm scared I might break it accidentally."

Makoto shuffled his feet slightly and looked out of the window, "Otousan loved beyblading. He loved me. He would tell me stories; take me wherever I wanted to go. And yet, there was this faraway look on his face. Sometimes I think…that's the only place he wanted to be was with your father."

"Makoto."

Makoto turned to face Gou. Gou's eyes didn't seem empty anymore. There was a strange look in his garnet coloured eyes and Makoto resisted the urge to look away. Gou placed his hand on Makoto's right cheek. Gou's hand felt cold, but Makoto didn't move away.

"I think that the only place you need to be now is with me," Gou finally looked away, "I had really missed you. Father spent most of his time alone and there was no one else."

Makoto raised his hand and placed it on Gou's left cheek, "…Shall we make up for lost time then?"

Gou smirked slightly.

A/N: I deeply apologize for the long hiatus. It's hard to update when every minute of free time is consumed by school. TT


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